Welcome to my Bad Advice series. This first one is dedicated to moving on. Letting go is easy, moving on is the hard part. The moving on process looks a little something like this:
- Deep in your feels.
- Watch chick flicks and eat pizza with your girl-friends.
- Block/mute him on all social media.
- Have your friend stalk them on social media for you.
- Just wanna be alone but also clingy to your friends.
- Afraid to go out bc you don’t want to run into your ex.
- Goes out and run into your ex.
- Back in your feels.
- The realization that you’re a boss bitch.
- Swear you’ll never talk to them again to your BFF, then text them back when they text you.
- Get yelled at by your BFF for texting them back.
- Go out with friends and realize there’s a lot more fish in the sea.
- Get way too intoxicated.
- Go home and still miss your ex. Undo all the progress you’ve made.
- Repeat 9-15 for a couple of weekends.
- Tired of being an emotional wreck.
- Decide you’re going to go on a diet/work out and get sexy.
- Post thotty IG photos and your friends hype you up in the comments.
- Go on dating apps then delete immediate after.
- Lie in bed with your BFF scrolling on social media for hours. Unmotivated. Loving it.
- Complain about why no one likes you.
- Reject every person that likes you.
- Now you feel like a bad person for friend-zoning the nicest person you know.
- No longer get sad or cry when listening to sad music.
- Enter the acceptance phase – getting used to not having that person around or talking to them.
- See/hear about your ex posting a photo or doing something they’ve never done while they were with you.
And here is when the bad advice comes in… idk where to go from here to guide anyone out there that is going through a breakup. Some say it will get better. Some say it’s not gonna get any better because the male species don’t grow up, they just get older. It may take weeks, months, years to get over that person. Girls, you just gotta do what you gotta do to finally let go. If making out with randos at the bars make you happy, do it! If you need a couple weeks of crying in the bathroom at work, Let. It. Out. Girl-friend! Oh wait, here’s some good advice: “Drink a lot of water and block his number” at least that’s what all the hot girls are posting as their captions on IG.
I have a couple of great guy friends that have found “the one.” How did they do it? They were in relationships where they never saw a future or they were heartbroken. Then they find a person that just wanted to have a casual fun time and ended up being head over heels for each other. Every time they share with me how they are so in love it makes my heart happy. So instead of being bitter about your ex finding someone else, think of it this way…You weren’t able to provide that happiness for them as the new person, so if you really “love” and “care” about them, you should be happy for them. (Yeah, it’s sad because you’re gorgeous, intelligent, and kiss the ground they walk on, on top of that, you have great hair. Like what more do you want right?). It doesn’t mean that you can’t still be hurt though. However, it’s just so much better to have a light heart than to be upset and angry. Unless they cheated on you and did worse things, then yeah, I understand why you would have unresolved trauma.
“Love should be easy, if you have to try too hard all the time it’s not meant to be, the only thing that should be hard when you’re in love is deciding where to go for dinner” – My sister
More bad advice coming soon. Until then, I will be re-watching “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before” for the 100th time… bc Peter Kavinsky, duh!